02-21-2013, 12:01 PM
Nice editing!
I enjoyed this poem. S2 is my favorite (I do agree about the rhyme being a little forced there, but I don't think I would've noticed on the first read if you hadn't noted it)
In S3 Line 4 might sound a little forced to me too.
I disagree with Ethereal on S4/L1. I prefer the edited version. I think S4 is the most improved from the edit! Good job!
Thanks for the read
I enjoyed this poem. S2 is my favorite (I do agree about the rhyme being a little forced there, but I don't think I would've noticed on the first read if you hadn't noted it)
In S3 Line 4 might sound a little forced to me too.
I disagree with Ethereal on S4/L1. I prefer the edited version. I think S4 is the most improved from the edit! Good job!
Thanks for the read