02-18-2013, 05:52 AM
aha... damn, i thought this was in a different forum. sorry, my mistake.
ok, by S2 i meant the second stanza, it is just a unit of poetry separated by a space, so the second stanza here begins 'i noticed a key...' and ends '...no one could hear' (i really liked these lines
and couplets are put simply lines that rhyme one after another. so consider:
I wait in my cell for my guard to arrive
And untie my lips with old rusted knives.
With my mouth agape and eyes like the ocean,
I can't help but feel engulfed by emotion.
I notice a key on the tip of my tongue,
Hidden away from when I was young.
Consumed long ago in a daze of fear,
I locked it inside so no one could hear
The thoughts in my mind Buried so deep
For no one to find, And leave me to weep.
Could now be the time To open the hole
And let my "no one" Peer into my soul?
I swallow the key, Return to my cell,
And relive my crime With no one to tell.
but this is only a starter. the line breaks in such as I have suggested do not really work so well, but you can play around with it, maybe blocks of fours, like:
I wait in my cell for my guard to arrive
And untie my lips with old rusted knives.
With my mouth agape and eyes like the ocean,
I can't help but feel engulfed by emotion.
I notice a key on the tip of my tongue,
Hidden away from when I was young.
Consumed long ago in a daze of fear,
I locked it inside so no one could hear
The thoughts in my mind Buried so deep
For no one to find, And leave me to weep.
Could now be the time To open the hole
And let my "no one" Peer into my soul?
I swallow the key, Return to my cell,
And relive my crime With no one to tell.
[the final couplet hangs out quite nicely here]
ok, by S2 i meant the second stanza, it is just a unit of poetry separated by a space, so the second stanza here begins 'i noticed a key...' and ends '...no one could hear' (i really liked these lines
and couplets are put simply lines that rhyme one after another. so consider:
I wait in my cell for my guard to arrive
And untie my lips with old rusted knives.
With my mouth agape and eyes like the ocean,
I can't help but feel engulfed by emotion.
I notice a key on the tip of my tongue,
Hidden away from when I was young.
Consumed long ago in a daze of fear,
I locked it inside so no one could hear
The thoughts in my mind Buried so deep
For no one to find, And leave me to weep.
Could now be the time To open the hole
And let my "no one" Peer into my soul?
I swallow the key, Return to my cell,
And relive my crime With no one to tell.
but this is only a starter. the line breaks in such as I have suggested do not really work so well, but you can play around with it, maybe blocks of fours, like:
I wait in my cell for my guard to arrive
And untie my lips with old rusted knives.
With my mouth agape and eyes like the ocean,
I can't help but feel engulfed by emotion.
I notice a key on the tip of my tongue,
Hidden away from when I was young.
Consumed long ago in a daze of fear,
I locked it inside so no one could hear
The thoughts in my mind Buried so deep
For no one to find, And leave me to weep.
Could now be the time To open the hole
And let my "no one" Peer into my soul?
I swallow the key, Return to my cell,
And relive my crime With no one to tell.
[the final couplet hangs out quite nicely here]