02-18-2013, 02:29 AM
It starts off quite a fun and humorous poem...but ends on a very serious note! Really like the turn around. Think the fun part will 'draw' the reader in, then leaves them with a message at the end. Rhythm is good, but I think there were a few lines here and there that just needed the rhythm tidying up to flow better, but overall rhythm good 
Not sure about the last 2 lines...yes it is what helps get the message across...but, just doesn't seem to fit in.
Really clever and creative poem
Not sure about the last 2 lines...yes it is what helps get the message across...but, just doesn't seem to fit in.
Really clever and creative poem
"We are the music makers
And we are the dreamers of dreams
Wandering by lone sea breakers
And sitting by desolate streams" ~ Arthur O'Shaughnessy
http://invisibleshadows86.blogspot.co.uk/
My journey
And we are the dreamers of dreams
Wandering by lone sea breakers
And sitting by desolate streams" ~ Arthur O'Shaughnessy
http://invisibleshadows86.blogspot.co.uk/
My journey