02-13-2013, 07:52 AM
[quote='billy' pid='115869' dateline='1360655529']
a little bit of work on the punctuation. i got a good laugh from it and i'm guessing that's the intent. in the way of constructive feedback, i'd suggest some kind of meter, i've heard the phrase accentual verse bandied about where each line has the same number of stressed syllables or just an iambic meter. great to see your poetry
thanks for the read. the good thing about shagging sheep,...you can eat the evidence
From one Billy to another cheers, I have edited to I, I quite often find that I can read my poems and the meter seems ok but when read by someone else it seems slightly off, my be my Lancashire accent.
a little bit of work on the punctuation. i got a good laugh from it and i'm guessing that's the intent. in the way of constructive feedback, i'd suggest some kind of meter, i've heard the phrase accentual verse bandied about where each line has the same number of stressed syllables or just an iambic meter. great to see your poetry
thanks for the read. the good thing about shagging sheep,...you can eat the evidence
From one Billy to another cheers, I have edited to I, I quite often find that I can read my poems and the meter seems ok but when read by someone else it seems slightly off, my be my Lancashire accent.
never make someone your priority when to them you are only an option