Warming Hearts - Edit

[billy]

Hi heather, great to see you posting poetry, great to see you giving feedback ><

todd metioned images, brandon cliche. so i won't. i'll ment baggage, packing etc, the tiny words that add nothing, i've highlighted some for you to think about and there are a few more, some poetry works better with them some work less well, as the writer you have to decide how they work in your poem. you have the core of a good poem here, it just needs an edit

thanks for the read.

The morning light creeps through
the tiny slits between each blind.
Its subtle voice, nudging me awake
speaking softly in my ear,
"life continues today, embrace it."
The routine, the preparation,
The bouncing through the house
remembering it all but wondering
what have I forgotten.
Out the window snow has taken over,
the whiteness blinding
as the sun touches its surface.
Without yet feeling the pervasive frost,
I imagine the bitter cold ripping through me.
I swing open the door
and charge into the piercing chill
but in the background of the frost, watch out for word repetition, try and use a simile, unless it's intended or a refrain.
a thaw hides,
waiting to blanket its warmth,
melting hearts.

-Heather