Lipstick Sheep (in my defence)

[Smiffy]

I don’t know how it started putting lipstick onto sheep
It’s an odd kind off perversion a secret I can’t keep
In the middle of the field there is no place to hide
It’s not something that I brag about there is no sense of pride
And it can be quite exhausting because after all remember
Sheep aren’t used to wearing stockings and suspenders
You asked to explain the method that I use
Let me make it very clear I only do it to the ewes
I’m not that perverted to do it to a ram
I’m always very gentle I’m a very thoughtful man
Now for your information sheep like a bit of bread
With a bread roll on my todger, I entice a bit of head
This makes their mouths open wider, exposing luscious lips
With lipstick held steady I give a wiggle of the hips
I’ve no preference as to colour though vermilion red works well
And should the bread roll slip let me tell you it hurts like hell
though you really have to concentrate when you put the stockings on
The suspenders can be tricky but the efforts worth the fun
And I always take a picture for the album that you hold
So your honour I solemnly promise to do as I am told
And always take you with me when I make a little trip
But I want you to remember this important little tip
With their feet shoved down your wellies you might risk a heart attack
As you force them to the cliff edge and the buggers start pushing back
So I hope you’ll be polite when you meet Ewenice and BA BA RA anne
And when the farmer wants his portion.... I hope you’ll take it like a man