the mountains of heaven

[serge gurkski]

there in the mountains of heaven
my stepmother lives
like a bird on a branch
whose torch song is unheard by all creation
save a lovely woman in a blue dress
come to sit and watch the sun

this is the paradise we promise
the beauty at the end
which justifies the poverty
the dead-end jobs
and bad movies

like a bird on a branch like a bird on a branch

like a thousand birds on a thousand branches
each singing their own torch songs
for a thousand lovely women in a thousand blue dresses
come to sit and watch a thousand suns

there in the mountains of heaven

Lots to like here.
First of all it moved me. The metaphor: mountains of heaven is a killer.
I like the syntactic structure, the way you put your words together, like here:save a lovely woman in a blue dress
come to sit and watch the sun. When I read this poem aloud, it sings back to me and my heart likes what it hears.
Another technique you apply here, I find very impressive: the crescendo
( a bird >>>> thousand birds.) and the repetition.
Other commentators will of course tell you, that your stepmother needs no "my".

Thank you for sharing this with us,

Serge