02-09-2013, 01:05 AM
Hi Todd,
Thanks for reading and the feedback.
*I see your point about 'just' in L1- will mull over this as I work towards my first edit..
*'Purple dreams' are meant to signify monsoon clouds just before they rain, I tried to convey that with 'you rolled in' , maybe its too obtuse to come across to the reader.
* I like your insight on wearily- will file away for the edit.
Thanks once more for your detailed crit and encouraging words.
cheers,
Thanks for reading and the feedback.
*I see your point about 'just' in L1- will mull over this as I work towards my first edit..
*'Purple dreams' are meant to signify monsoon clouds just before they rain, I tried to convey that with 'you rolled in' , maybe its too obtuse to come across to the reader.
* I like your insight on wearily- will file away for the edit.
Thanks once more for your detailed crit and encouraging words.
cheers,