02-07-2013, 07:29 PM
Heart on Fire, Soul a Cliche
Raindrops are
Angel tears, God’s regret
Shed for angst.
Uniquely teens’.
Or a joke,
Saints pissing, Zeus laughing
At your picnic ruined.
Cold jabs mocking misfortune.
Sunshine
Reflects light in heart.
Birds singing under clear blue sky
Painting portrait of happiness.
Or how the rays sting,
Day after day
Coded like machines
Stuck in perpetual cycle.
Love,
A terminal disease
Burning hearts, drowning souls;
Forcing one to befriend
Sunshine and raindrops.
The only cure
Another with the same illness.
Side effects include illusions of grandeur,
And perceived depression when almost healed.
Coke bottles jubilant, sofas crying;
All things emote; feelings spilling over,
Like the girl next door, lamenting
Life’s unfairness while polishing nails.
Heard so often, it’s tuned out.
Listeners are left wondering
If there’s hope for the next generation.
The line 'Uniquely teens'' gave me a wry smile and I like the way you have two distinct voices in the first part. I particularly enjoyed stanzas 5 & 6 and the image of a girl 'lamenting' while 'polising her nails' is really vivid. Can't offer any advice on what to do with it but I feel that you shouldn't let it go just yet.
Raindrops are
Angel tears, God’s regret
Shed for angst.
Uniquely teens’.
Or a joke,
Saints pissing, Zeus laughing
At your picnic ruined.
Cold jabs mocking misfortune.
Sunshine
Reflects light in heart.
Birds singing under clear blue sky
Painting portrait of happiness.
Or how the rays sting,
Day after day
Coded like machines
Stuck in perpetual cycle.
Love,
A terminal disease
Burning hearts, drowning souls;
Forcing one to befriend
Sunshine and raindrops.
The only cure
Another with the same illness.
Side effects include illusions of grandeur,
And perceived depression when almost healed.
Coke bottles jubilant, sofas crying;
All things emote; feelings spilling over,
Like the girl next door, lamenting
Life’s unfairness while polishing nails.
Heard so often, it’s tuned out.
Listeners are left wondering
If there’s hope for the next generation.
The line 'Uniquely teens'' gave me a wry smile and I like the way you have two distinct voices in the first part. I particularly enjoyed stanzas 5 & 6 and the image of a girl 'lamenting' while 'polising her nails' is really vivid. Can't offer any advice on what to do with it but I feel that you shouldn't let it go just yet.