02-07-2013, 05:46 AM
Hi Cidermaid
I would say firstly I thought both pieces where outstanding the voice is soft and gently and you use aliteration to make it sing, this is a great effect, Serge has done a fantastic job with the feedback, so I will offer my opinion to the question posed over poem or prose.
I have to say I enjoyed the pantoum slightly more, as I felt the repetition stamped down the recalled lovers theme thus adding clarity to the weaving of beach and lovers longing. To produce both pieces to such a standard is a real achievement thank you.
Keith
I would say firstly I thought both pieces where outstanding the voice is soft and gently and you use aliteration to make it sing, this is a great effect, Serge has done a fantastic job with the feedback, so I will offer my opinion to the question posed over poem or prose.
I have to say I enjoyed the pantoum slightly more, as I felt the repetition stamped down the recalled lovers theme thus adding clarity to the weaving of beach and lovers longing. To produce both pieces to such a standard is a real achievement thank you.
Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out