The Skylark

[brandontoh]

I was surfing the net trying to identify the birds singing outside my window when I chanced on a recording of a skylark's song which transported me back to childhood summers running in the fields around my home and hearing it for the first time.

The Skylark
Sweat pricking my skin, heart hammering; supine in the grass.
Lungs labour; ribs ache; temples throb.
The sun is a languid, warm caress; bright on closed lids.
The blood’s roar abates, sound and sense return.
A gentle susurrus on the leaves; birdsong fills the sky.
No lips form the trickling tones,
Some unearthly process births the piercing notes
That swoop and soar above my head.
An unassuming bird; brown and dowdy,
Hiding his other-worldly song within.

This is a rather simple poem with rich imageries and good word choices. If I were to nit-pick, I'd say that 'blood's roar' and 'unearthly process' could be changed. Those phrases sort of jerks me out of the mood you're trying to create I think.

Also, while the imageries are rich, the poem doesn't elicit a feeling of nostalgia. It's purely descriptive, and if you really do want to get the feeling of nostalgia across some extra lines or changes need to be made.

I really like the last line, by the way. It's an enjoyable read. Hope I'm of help. =) Thanks for the read.