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[Yelleryella123]

Should it be "chuckling, staring, laughing"?

I like what you're trying to do here -- I think you might actually be able to pull off a full palindrome instead though (same lines in both directions), because you can end the poem on:

chuckling, staring, laughing
people sitting in a glass room

and it works, grammar-wise, so it would just be a matter of fiddling around with the middle lines. Wording like "judging the girl..." can be altered for meaning in the second half to "judging, the girl..." -- just an idea anyway

hah! yes, staring
okay I'll try re-writing it with your advice. I wasn't sure how to punctuate it so it reads the way I want it to sound coming off my tongue - rearrangement will help with that
thank you