A LESSON OF LIFE AND LOVE FOR ALL AND NONE

[Todd]

Hi puzzle, welcome to the site! Here are my initial thoughts.

This has an issue that I usually see in early fiction drafts. It tries to be too cryptic. "It comes to its conclusion." I'd consider replacing pronouns throughout. Its more philosophical argument than poem in its current state. Too wordy and esoteric without enough solid phrasing and images. As an editing step, I'd cut half of it, and see what you have. Can you make it work? With concepts consider imagery over adjectives. Just some thoughts. I hope they help.

Best,

Todd

A LESSON OF LIFE AND LOVE FOR ALL AND NONE


It comes to its conclusion,
much too sudden and abrupt,
feeling like closure, without any condition,
to close, or to hold and to mark,
like an end and also a beginning,
just without a proper start;

What remains is invisible to the eye,
this or that ghost's paraphernalia,
his whisper, an undefined remark,
as invisible as it seems - as it remains,
mere susurres of a residue,
left by a once beating heart.
Glance into the moment,
identify its one disguise,
give it a persona, a name,
and acceptingly surmise: What?
The only truth you and I know.

True, it is not untangible per se –
but rather, in our grasp,
it is transformed, almost like a polymorphic stream,
this life in our blood, that rushes through veins,
yours and mine, in its hurry, bursting at the seams.
But what – what is this phenomena,
what could it actually be?
What lingers on these walls?
Whose voice is that, I hear, murmuring,
From whose mouth pours all this debris?

I rather not say, I rather not know,
now, that this is set and done – I interrupt it here.
What begs to be told, foremost, is, however,
a conclusion you already know:
This resumes from whence it once came; nowhere,
and if it is yet to come, then, so it is, what never became.
In that case, truth, is, truly, one and the same, with what is false.
Just like what is now is likely to never have been then,
and anything here is like anything there,
one and the same, neither at the end nor beginning of,
where, eventually, everything goes to be.