01-28-2013, 11:44 PM
Thanks popeye, thanks Pete. =)
Yeah in the third stanza I'm repeating myself. Not sure what to replace it with. Or maybe the repetition helps emphasise on the focus? Gah!!
The wee upward curve actually refers to a smile. =x I'll reword it in due time. =) Thanks for pointing it out.
The how is basically the batter wondering how the ball got to the baseman's hand so quick, since he was so confident of getting to first base. But that's getting into technicalities, and I'm glad you pointed it out. May need quite a bit of rewording for that stanza so the image is clearer.
Thanks for all the feedback. =) A new edit will be done when I get the time/mood. =P
Yeah in the third stanza I'm repeating myself. Not sure what to replace it with. Or maybe the repetition helps emphasise on the focus? Gah!!
The wee upward curve actually refers to a smile. =x I'll reword it in due time. =) Thanks for pointing it out.
The how is basically the batter wondering how the ball got to the baseman's hand so quick, since he was so confident of getting to first base. But that's getting into technicalities, and I'm glad you pointed it out. May need quite a bit of rewording for that stanza so the image is clearer.
Thanks for all the feedback. =) A new edit will be done when I get the time/mood. =P
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