In Defense of the Cold Ones

[cotidiano]

Ruthless, mindless appetites
Feasting on sensual flesh,
Wet and hard the blood and bone
They lick and suck with longing.

After this stanza the "They" means someone else:


The Cold Ones refuse the fruit of carnal knowledge,
Defying our noble Garden birth,
Denying our indelible double helixes.
They are trapped where hungry lions roam.

Starting "The Cold Ones..."; I guess that makes the distinction clear enough. But you use "our" now. And that's just "our", humans in general, I know. But the first stanza could cause a slight confusion because of the "They" up there. Just something to consider.


This is our world without hunger:
There are no famines for those who never eat.
Tasting lips yields no flavor;

"Tasting lips yield".

Delicious games produce no favors.

They sleep in self-inflicted starvation,
Fingering one another with only sweet, candied strokes,
Content with inner ecstasy,
Living without gluttony.

So they do finger each other?
Or does it mean: they only touch each other on the outside?

It's a pretty decent poem. Not bad.

Thank you so much for your feedback! I agree with your suggestions. I clarified the "they" in the first stanza and added an "in contrast" opening to the second stanza as well. I hope that makes the meaning a little clearer.

As for the line "Fingering one another with only sweet, candied strokes" I wanted to convey the idea of innocent touching, as fingering literally means "touching with the fingers." Throughout the poem, I attempt to use very sexualized words (like "fingering") and de-sexualize them. I hope that makes sense.