01-26-2013, 04:57 PM
hi stanton,
when you use a apostrophe, it doesn't need any gaps (heaven's) (one's)
the rhymes feel forced, at present it feels more like the story of love. there are lots of phrases being thrown about that don't really say much to the reader. try not to be so big with the concept. be plain speaking and try to give each statement some logic for being used.
when you use a apostrophe, it doesn't need any gaps (heaven's) (one's)
the rhymes feel forced, at present it feels more like the story of love. there are lots of phrases being thrown about that don't really say much to the reader. try not to be so big with the concept. be plain speaking and try to give each statement some logic for being used.
(01-26-2013, 04:05 AM)Stanton Wrote: Hey guys,
this is my first English poemThanks for some feedback!!!
Story of Life
Heaven´s utmost creation, which is? show or tell us what you mean?
The most sensitive sensation, same here.
The hardest to wield,
One´s feelings concealed.
Off to find heaven´s chest,
No longer able to be self-possessed,
Human kind´s inherent quest,
No time to rest.
Fleeting, boundless, never-ending,
Thus, two people depending.