What do you think of my first ever poem?

[doolasmind#11]

first off welcome, im fairly new to this myself so I'm not going to write anything mind-blowing but I will say that I do see a lot of potential. I think you need to take every line and make it into a whole stanza and shorten the wording as well. big words are good in some cases but if you have to many it can really jumble up the content. while you don't want to "dumb" your writings down you do want them to be able to be read by a wide and diverse audience. just one man's opinion i'm sure there will be others.

good job for the first time and again welcome to the site