M

[serge gurkski]

Erm... (not to mock Card, but that was my first reaction too).
I think I know or feel what that's about, or at least I wove my own plot reading this poem.

"You, a serene substance,
The warm whisper coursing through my veins,"

I like the overall tone of this, it flows not badly.
I like the alliterations, the internal rhyme, the line breaking.

The basic metaphor you use (a walk on the seaside)
might not carry your message through in the most effective way.

If M is mare (sea) it would.
If it was what I think, it would not.

cheers
Serge