01-19-2013, 02:14 PM
I don't think it's too whiny. I do think it's... not something I would expect from the title though. I do think it makes sense though.
When you say "battening" did you mean "fattening" instead? 'Cause that would work better.
If I might question your format, I would recommend capitalizing only after you create a whole and independent thought. It'll make things flow better, since you have breaks between them that will only occasionally interrupt the thought. Bit of an irregularity, that.
When you say "battening" did you mean "fattening" instead? 'Cause that would work better.
If I might question your format, I would recommend capitalizing only after you create a whole and independent thought. It'll make things flow better, since you have breaks between them that will only occasionally interrupt the thought. Bit of an irregularity, that.
Won't be seeing you through the field of tears I left behind