First post/poem, no title

[billy]

Thanks Doolasmind and Billy!
I definitely was looking for phrases or words/wordplay that would fit the ideas I was trying to convey; I guess I found what was in my mind was a lot of cliché lol But I find it interesting that is where my mind went for phrases.

Thanks for all your comments

normally if we find a phrase in our minds, it's because we've read it somewhere else and it's a memory. it's better to create phrases you haven't heard.
the dog had fleas the size of crickets.

she played dixie on my pocket pipe