dream and be lost-feedback

[billy]

hi destiny. for me the poem needs something more. at present you have 5 verse that all say the same thing. use the first verse as a start and build the poem up from there. write about how and why and who with and where the dog is etc. make it more. use a few images as well. the term used for this type of poetry is hall mark. hall mark poetry has nice rhythm and rhyme but doesn't say a lot.

Dream and be lost
Don't pretend to know
Own your confusion
Push off and let go

Float into nothing
Weightless in the air
Swim toward the sun
Do anything you dare

Know your reality
isn't all that can exist
Let go of your goals
have anything you wish

Let your thoughts flow
Don't analyze them all
I promise safety
if you let yourself fall

life is an illusion
Stop looking for a clue
the point is, It's pointless
have fun until we're through