dream and be lost-feedback

[Jae Mc Donnell]

I like poems that aren't too ambiguous, but I feel this one may be a bit too straight forward and didactic. Maybe if you cite an example of these ideas having an effect on a person it might give variety to the message.

I could not disagree more. I'm sorry BennyBoy, I hope that does not come across as insulting or rude.
I think the poem achieves its goal very well. I love your over use of juxtaposition's, it gives a great feel of the paradox that is the human mind, and also in my opinion it portrays the idea of the thinking needed to remain in complete metal balance. Great messege and good job

As BennyBoy said, it is straight forward, but for me that is why it works

Dream and be lost
Don't pretend to know
Own your confusion
Push off and let go

Float into nothing
Weightless in the air
Swim toward the sun
Do anything you dare

Know your reality
isn't all that can exist
Let go of your goals
have anything you wish

Let your thoughts flow
Don't analyze them all
I promose safety
if you let yourself fall

life is an illusion
Stop looking for a clue
the point is, It's pointless
have fun until we're through