01-08-2013, 01:13 AM
Hi destiny 1313,
From a quick read I would say that this references a non-committal lover or someone incapable of love. However, I think you have forced yourself into an arbitrary structure in the first stanza and have tried to match it in the second with very little success.
Perhaps, and this is just my opinion, you should take what it is that you consider to be the core of the poem and try to rewrite without any structure and then possibly break it down into stanzas if it seems best.
I like what you've started and will check back.
Thanks for sharing
From a quick read I would say that this references a non-committal lover or someone incapable of love. However, I think you have forced yourself into an arbitrary structure in the first stanza and have tried to match it in the second with very little success.
Perhaps, and this is just my opinion, you should take what it is that you consider to be the core of the poem and try to rewrite without any structure and then possibly break it down into stanzas if it seems best.
I like what you've started and will check back.
Thanks for sharing