my first post feedback please

[billy]

hi destiny not bad, not bad at all. but it like most poems needs more work. the 2nd line should read as Singed soul. Broken dreams so check for bad grammar (- where - aren't needed) and cliche. cliche is the bain of new and old poets alike, they tend to make new poetry seem like old poetry. things like trying so hard or my head up high
are just two old phrases that everyone's heard before. and also, redundancy; Memories of the past are there any other kind. are there memories of the future? so that would be simply, memories or burnt memories use words that relate if possible but that also aren't redundant on their own

welcome to the site