01-07-2013, 02:40 AM
Hi,
This seamed short and designed to be consise, but perhaps could be still trimmed just a little.
I am wondering if it mught be better to change the "to" into an "I" in the second line.
and thus a llow for changing the last two to action lines
speading my wings...
Searching for...
Good title connection to subject. There would be room to take this to another stanza to give us a picture of what the spirit is singing.
Thanks for the read AJ.
This seamed short and designed to be consise, but perhaps could be still trimmed just a little.
I am wondering if it mught be better to change the "to" into an "I" in the second line.
and thus a llow for changing the last two to action lines
speading my wings...
Searching for...
Good title connection to subject. There would be room to take this to another stanza to give us a picture of what the spirit is singing.
Thanks for the read AJ.