Little Match Girl

[arbil_poieo]

I'm not even sure what it is that I'm unhappy with, I just have a feeling that it's missing something.

Poems like these are often difficult to write because as the writer you're wanting a specific reaction from your audience. It's sometimes hard to express a strong feeling without being compelled to expand on it because that feeling that you're trying to express seems infinite and the ways to express them seem even longer. You want as a writer for your audience to be 100% connected to it. It's pretty common.

Now to the actual poem: The form aside
I like the first stanza it's beautifully written and engaging. "I'm cold, hug me" is actually devastating and potent.
Second stanza: capturing an innocent child-play then going back to the girl still pleading. I think that's smart to show children enjoying the snow while the girl just wants warmth. It shows the reader the difference between her life and the other kids life. The difference between happiness and tragedy.
Third Stanza:This introduces her as homeless, I think this could be enhanced. "Yet where's home for a girl unwanted" seems generic. Perhaps, it would be better to emphasize on this misfortune.
Fourth stanza: "Fed since birth with bitter hatred" sounds better to me. I like the use of glee, its a fitting word.
Fourth stanza: "A delicate flower, yearning to be connected" seems cliche. A flower isn't the best way to describe this girl and what shes going through and what it has made her to be.
Fifth Stanza: "How does people ignore so easily" isn't impacting, it's generic. Maybe something more sentimental or sincere to pull on the heart strings.

I'm going to assume this is from the book. I think what it needs is some harsh and raw feeling (specifically in the lines pointed out) to really convince the readers of her dispair and of the world's ignorance to it.

Hope this was helpful.