01-03-2013, 10:04 AM
hi brandon,
it looks like you have the form done properly. one problem i see is 'silently whispers' whispers are not silent. quietly whispers could be an alternative
you could use silent instead of mutely, or privately
good effort.
it looks like you have the form done properly. one problem i see is 'silently whispers' whispers are not silent. quietly whispers could be an alternative
you could use silent instead of mutely, or privately
good effort.
(01-03-2013, 04:41 AM)brandontoh Wrote: Thanks for reading my poem. =)
Septoletistance
He
Silently whispers:
‘Stop walking, please…’
She
Persists, but
Mutely wishes
He’d give chase.