12-30-2012, 10:26 PM
Thank you both for your time taking to reply
cedermaid: I took the Haiku as a start point, then I changed it to suit the longer piece, adding a few syllables as to make it sound less choppy.
And no it was no where near to much critique. The more the better as far as I'm concerned, nore would I like readers to feel they need to. A simple yeah that's good, or no crap, would do me
winterborn: I'm glad you liked the read The line about cats seemed like a big disgusting image to me, and I feel that greed is disgusting so I was happy with this image.
I have put an edit up with the syllable count put right, Let me know if it works
cedermaid: I took the Haiku as a start point, then I changed it to suit the longer piece, adding a few syllables as to make it sound less choppy.
And no it was no where near to much critique. The more the better as far as I'm concerned, nore would I like readers to feel they need to. A simple yeah that's good, or no crap, would do me
winterborn: I'm glad you liked the read
The line about cats seemed like a big disgusting image to me, and I feel that greed is disgusting so I was happy with this image.I have put an edit up with the syllable count put right, Let me know if it works