Reason

[rowens]

Hi Rowens,
I find this entrancing. It has a dreamy almost surreal quality about it that somehow manages to be simultaniously solid and real.
I do agree with the last line it does let it down. Not that I have anything particularly better to offer Perhaps something linking the dog back in...(later, passing by, he saw the dog was coughing up the spider).

By the way I think the sub note is poetic...unless this was part of the original poem...in which case my appoligies..I do get confused easily!.
Need a little help....was this intentional? (If not it's still very good).
AJ

I just felt that the last line was painfully obvious, so I stuck it on there out of spite against myself because I was in a bad mood. Then I went back and added the "blind" to make it more blatantly impulsive.

I'd planned on changing it, then I decided that I could read it out loud in such a way to make it work if I was ever in the mood for a dismissive tone.

Then I just didn't think about it for weeks.