First ever senryu (hope I've done it right
#3
(12-28-2012, 06:08 AM)Jae Mc Donnell Wrote:  A wound he pokes raw
Until winters wisdom states
Stop poking it prick
good effort, i'm with leanne that it reads more like a senryu but what really matters is that you tried a new form and that it's not half bad Smile

use the 575 syl count if you want but it's okay not too.
i'd change he for it i'm also thinking leanne is right with winter wisdom


id have said leanne is more like winter than i. one of those nuclear winter thingies Big Grin
Reply


Messages In This Thread
RE: First ever Haiku (hope I've done it right - by billy - 12-28-2012, 07:56 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!