First ever senryu (hope I've done it right

[billy]

A wound he pokes raw
Until winters wisdom states
Stop poking it prick

good effort, i'm with leanne that it reads more like a senryu but what really matters is that you tried a new form and that it's not half bad

use the 575 syl count if you want but it's okay not too.
i'd change he for it i'm also thinking leanne is right with winter wisdom


id have said leanne is more like winter than i. one of those nuclear winter thingies