seasonal

[billy]

Foaling.

Time, feet first out burst. the syntax could be changed i think.
Budding, swelling bursting forth. burst and bursting feels too much
Bright light, new day. Start.

Nurturing

Start right, richly veined.
Overflowing growing grass. i like the line a lot.
Soft breath nuzzling.

Breeding

Nuzzling, nipping. nuzzling in the last one as well
Leap, thrust, hold. Innocent eyes.
May pierce, slipped, held deep.

i was a bit confused with this line


Growing.

Deep sleep, dappled shade. okay, i'm getting the gist now, the last/first line, forget my other comments on the repeat thing. it works
Bugs biting, raindrops kissing.
Play fighting, free running. perfect

Resting.

Running sweat, deep heat.
Matron guarded, siesta.
Refreshing dawn dew

Replenishing.

Due for a long drink. this is a bit of a cheat
Full fat gloaming, evening mist.
Dark green gathering.

Weaning.

Gathering clouds pile
Flanked deep, heaving gates aside.
Hard tack, ground to creep.

Learning.

Creep, cross over. Call
on the wing. Path flight first thought.
Restricted. Re-zoned.

Leaving.

Zoned in, colour cloned.
Leaching last connecting shades.
Last step, door is closed. another solid stanza.

Embryo.

Closed off, bagged bundle.
Fast expanding awareness.
Fruitful winter store.

Lockdown.

Store shed, bellies full.
Cracks plugged to mud and decay.
Main stay, straw and hay

.
Waiting.

Hay prepped, full mangers.
Cloy clods, frost, sun, wind clearing.
Emerging bud time.

---

This was a sort of experiment of playing with the forms inspired by some poetry i viewed at this site: http://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/...poems-2011 (In particular some of the 2007 poems). I was trying to combine the connecting word thread that holds a a crown of sonnets together into a series of Haiku (or senyru). So I've flung the thought down on paper without any editing to get some feed back on if the idea works, before i do any further work on this.

i like the idea of it. i particularly like the idea of the connections between each part. if i had one nit it would be that at present some of the stanza feels disjointed in the phrasing. other than that i think it's a great effort