Peace in Prospect

[2onthemap]

hi 2

we don't use the polls for poetry. it leads to misuse and stops real feedback

welcome to to the forum.

the 1st stanza feels very weak to start the poem. a suggestion would be to use the 2nd line as the first. ideally you could use some stronger lines with a few images. another point is that it feels very generic. usually the two go hand in hand.

Thanks for your reply and feedback. I new so I didn't know that the polls are no go.

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Welcome 2onthemap!
I really like the title. I enjoyed how there was a light at the end of the tunnel. This has some really good thoughts. I can see the intention with some of the lines, but I think approaching it differently would give the words more strength instead of just knowing it's intent. Like "dreaming and hoping that pain will cease tomorrow."
I don't think you need the first stanza, it's so different from the rest of it and it doesn't give the reader anything new that isn't already in the poem.

I really like "Or did your wounds become infected/And the newborns you bear in your arms/will their friendship be rejected that's direct and has some force.

Overall, I like where you're going with this and I enjoyed reading it.

Thank you so much. I updated the poem after taking all the feedback. If have a moment to spare, please take a look at it. Thanks