This Winter (2nd edit)

[Todd]

Hi Uncle Vertical,

This is pretty cool. I like the Moses allusion at the end. Here are some thoughts to consider:

This winter is a moving cloud
On the gray palette before me.
The leaning fog reaches upward
To meet a lowering shroud.--these first four lines have lovely imagery and phrasing
The days are hidden and diffuse.--do you need the are?
The nights curtained in haze are lifeless.--in haze are feels a bit redundant how about just making the structure similar "curtained and lifeless
Nothing distinct, nothing of detail,--maybe just Nothing distinct, no detail
Not a break, a star, or an edge to see.--wonderful line. Optionally, you could pull up I am to the end of this line to echo your allusion on the next line with a subtle burning bush lead in. Just a thought
I am here, in the cleft of this rock.
Alone on my watch, in my hour.
Waiting for something eternal.--I like the contrast between hour and eternal

Nice edit,.

Best,

Todd