12-23-2012, 07:52 AM
(12-22-2012, 09:11 PM)Pete Ak Wrote: Wife on my back,For reasons not apparent, even to me, I find I like the flow of this terse- verse. I quite like these short pieces because it is necessary to get in as much as possible in limited space....so the density goes up and I don't have to swim far between islands.
ankle-biters have pirated my feet.
Arms enfold my calves,
grins as wide as verity.
Along the path, gnarled hands
reach without grasping.
I trudge contentedly.
You may decide to tell us what it is about but I get kids, walk in woods, compulsory.
In fact, I love it. Grins as wide as verity from me.
I also like the punctuation. Done correctly, as it is here, words breathe in and out in their changing space. Well done. Can you write in rhyme?
Best,
tectak

