Hi hurst. the rhyme scheme was going great till. prey/but/day, try and change the but to something that rhymes.
a constant meter would help with the flow of the thing. you're 2nd line is something we can see. instead of saying street light you say pool it add something more. it can be something sinister. you need more lines like that. word picture to show us the fear. but good effort nonetheless.
a constant meter would help with the flow of the thing. you're 2nd line is something we can see. instead of saying street light you say pool it add something more. it can be something sinister. you need more lines like that. word picture to show us the fear. but good effort nonetheless.