Lit
#3
Another fascinating poem Larry Smile

(02-27-2010, 12:05 AM)Larry Wrote:  our cosmos grows into nothing
like air blown into a black balloon.
stretches indefinitely,
pulling planetary bodies further and further "planetary bodies" isn't redundant, per se, but it sounds a bit too literal
apart, into darkness.

soon, the isolated stars
will burn in hermitage,
and emptiness will fasten "will" can be omitted
itself into our galaxy,
making playgrounds for asteroids
and swing sets that comets can ride, "that" can be ommitted I think
across a vast and voided sky
lit by not one
firefly.
Loverly overall.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Lit - by Larry - 02-27-2010, 12:05 AM
RE: Lit - by billy - 02-28-2010, 07:37 AM
RE: Lit - by addy - 03-02-2010, 12:10 PM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!