3rd

[Keith]

You started as though you were going to takes us through your emotions for each part of the working day, this journey works for me and what you have is v strong you coud drop the last stanza and replace it with one about your tea break and the one about getting back home. I have put some stuff down that I feel/hate about nights hope its helpful. Please chose to ignore this as ramblings or not, as its your Poem and its already a great one.

two oclock stop
brings eyelid sand
warm tea break
second wind blows

furry morning mouth
silent squint drive
sink in warm linen
shit when I should eat
eat when I should shit
closed eyes too soon open
Pork chop breakfast (evening meal with the kids)
body clock ballet
wound in different directions
cold side of bed
warm when she's gone
house goes quiet
summer lawn mower madness