The Hunger of the Termite

[Philatone]

hey ray!


I have to admit I struggled a bit with parts of this one, though I'm blaming myself more than anything. here were my thoughts as I read a few times

Her arrows punctuate the globe
from Colombia to Burma.
He’s undergone the trials of Job
and she’s overcome with fervour ...to this point, I expected to have a better understanding of our characters, but I can't really say I know who they are. the title doesn't help me much either. the meter also felt a bit irregular to me, but maybe it's just my state of mind at the moment.

which magnifies the darker side
he keeps behind lock and caution,
finds prison cells unoccupied ...who does the finding? her fervour? he? syntax may be running too far here
by the sleep of his exhaustion. ...here, "by" threw me off. It didn't strike me as the best preposition for the situation; by used as "because" or "the means of" or "next to" didn't seem to fit. his exhaustion is affecting his perception?

She’s developing neuroses -
what extraordinary torture! -
in the swoop for scalps and trophies
and the struggle out of water; ....again, the water took me by surprise. I'm struggling to get my sense of place to this point.

from the flicker of the searchlight
and the bone breaking surrender ...again, meter feels off to me
to the hunger of the termite
for the chamber they dismember. ...again, "for" didn't feel like the right preposition to me

She’s erected a confessional
with an ear for foreign language:
Amnesty International
has aroused her sense of anguish.

i struggled with knowing where I was supposed to be and with the word choice for some of the lines. the meter also strikes me as slipping a bit in places, but that can be subjective; spoken aloud, it may be fine. finally, the "he" and "she" i never felt close enough to to really understand. i need to mull on this one/ see others' thoughts because as of now, I think i'm missing too much. i'm sorry