11-29-2012, 03:24 AM
Hey!
"As we can see I was never one for over achieving.
But I'm alright with that now,
Because as it turns out,
it's the only reason I'm breathing."
Has to be an awesome ending.
I would break your poem into about three stanzas because the flow switches up and the rhyme scheme changes.
"Those cunts got bonuses, I got arrested."
Personal opinion, You don't need the word cunt i think it lessens the effect of your poem, Dictionaries are our friends.
Otherwise pretty good poem I like how you for a minute you make failure a person.
"Failure is yet to let me down.
It stood its ground,
even when,
success came around."
Keep it up.
"As we can see I was never one for over achieving.
But I'm alright with that now,
Because as it turns out,
it's the only reason I'm breathing."
Has to be an awesome ending.
I would break your poem into about three stanzas because the flow switches up and the rhyme scheme changes.
"Those cunts got bonuses, I got arrested."
Personal opinion, You don't need the word cunt i think it lessens the effect of your poem, Dictionaries are our friends.
Otherwise pretty good poem I like how you for a minute you make failure a person.
"Failure is yet to let me down.
It stood its ground,
even when,
success came around."
Keep it up.
Isn't It Evil to Live Backwards~Loaded Lux
I'm Batman, act up and I'll squeeze Hecklers/You'll die before the first clip drops, Heath Ledger!