11-20-2012, 09:01 AM
Hi Heslopian
I like the perspective you have chosen by putting the reader in charge of the ark and the way you describe the menagery below, not sure about the opening line could be stronger, didn't grab me but thats the only one I thinks you have some strong lines here "Lesser minds roam in the dark, driven by impulse alone" this line really brings the poem to life for me by depicting life in the Ark and in general so to speek. Thanks for the read TOMH
I like the perspective you have chosen by putting the reader in charge of the ark and the way you describe the menagery below, not sure about the opening line could be stronger, didn't grab me but thats the only one I thinks you have some strong lines here "Lesser minds roam in the dark, driven by impulse alone" this line really brings the poem to life for me by depicting life in the Ark and in general so to speek. Thanks for the read TOMH