The world is flat

[Todd]

Hi Geoff,

There's a lot I like with this one. You have the perfect mix of concise style and strong imagery that I just love. Here are some comments for you:

First off I'm torn on the title. It does bring clarity, and that's good, but I keep wanting something more evocative like Castaway or some such. It's not a deal killer just a preference on my part.

A niece thumbs islands on a keypad--is the niece and uncle thing necessary? I almost would prefer she here. What does the familial relationship add? I like the thumbing islands for both the motion and her isolation. She is in a sense far away on an island. Back to the title is this enough for clarity. I think so, but I'm not sure.
beneath the tablecloth,

lifting her head at uncle's order.
She bottles another message--love that you've extended the image here. It lends resonance

while the room busies itself,--don't think you need this line. You could cut and change scratching to scratch in the next line and you lose nothing
spoons scratching soup bowls,--this is where the poem takes off for me. I like the introduction of sound here also

and eyes fall on ladders of steam.
Climbing into the bulbs

of a chandelier, frail steps
crumble into air, chasing words--these four lines...umm...fantastic visual images. I like the transience of it, and how it sort of gives an image of how the niece is somewhere else. The chasing words part is great as it shows the distance between the actual people in the room so well.

she heard sail off
an edge of earth.--killer ending

Great read Geoff. I hope some of this will be helpful to you.

Best,

Todd