Lit

[billy]

our cosmos grows into nothing [would the be better]
like air blown into a black balloon. would a vacuum be better
stretches indefinitely, instead of like air ]
pulling planetary bodies further and further
apart, into darkness. [could it be perked up ? ]

soon, the isolated stars [is the needed]
will burn in hermitage,
and emptiness will fasten
itself into our galaxy,
making playgrounds for asteroids
and swing sets that comets can ride,
across a vast and voided sky [is across needed/
lit by not one
firefly.

if you use grammar, it has to be used properly; which means caps at the beginning of a sentence. all grammar of no grammer is the rule.
a period at the en of the poem and a cap at the beginning is okay.

for me it feels a bit telly. a few good lines like;

will burn in hermitage
and swing sets that comets can ride.

but it needs a few more which are as good.

for me it's a better poem than many could write but not a poem as good as you can write.
it def doesn't need throwing away
but it does need an edit

thanks for the read larry