Hi coffeespoons.
is there a more original way of time waits for no man...it's too old a cliche to start a poem off with.
something along the lines of;
Time hangs for no man
or
Time rests for no man
the rest of the opening line is solid. so is the rest of the poem. there are a couple of lines i think you could cut and in doing so add to the poem (Lines 11 and 12) don't add anything as it's already implied above.
there are some really good lines in the poem and if this is your first poem, you're future as a poet bodes well
.
make sure you try your hand at giving feedback to theirs
thanks for the read.
is there a more original way of time waits for no man...it's too old a cliche to start a poem off with.
something along the lines of;
Time hangs for no man
or
Time rests for no man
the rest of the opening line is solid. so is the rest of the poem. there are a couple of lines i think you could cut and in doing so add to the poem (Lines 11 and 12) don't add anything as it's already implied above.
there are some really good lines in the poem and if this is your first poem, you're future as a poet bodes well
.make sure you try your hand at giving feedback to theirs
thanks for the read.