Paints The Sky

[billy]

She paints the sky with white and blue,
With a stroke of her hand, a paradise for two.
She paints the sky, where our love reigns true. a common phrase (cliche) try and avoid them
But now she paints the sky with shifting clouds, dark colors, shades, and hues.
What has happened here, in our paradise, just me and you?
The sun has set, in this idealistic world, now bleeding down the canvas, lost and untrue.
She has raped my sky, with lines, foreign colors, and haikus. i like this line. it's not trite, it shows us something in an original way
She riddles me lies, promising if my heart stays true,
The sun will rise again, in this monstrosity, built in the minds of we two. would it be easier to say 'built in our minds?
Next time she strokes the brush, I expect bright colors, shades, and hues.
But this time something unexpected happens,
This time,
She paints the sky,
Monsoon. i like the ending. it could be giving a hint or where you are in the real world as well as in the relationship

the clichéd parts weaken the poem a lot i think. you do have some good things going on and i like the sharp ending.