F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing (Revision)

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F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing (Revision)

Leanne Offline

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R.I.P.

Posts: 1,568
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#6

09-25-2012, 05:12 AM

Todd, this is a beautifully developed conceit and the final lines are incredibly poignant. Personally I like it better sans strophes as I think it's a cohesive unit. If Hollywood has a capital, then Continental probably should too.

Your use of language is superb, especially "cold complications of color" against the thread of sibilants running through. Yes, this is good stuff.

It could be worse

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Messages In This Thread

F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing (Revision) - by Todd - 09-25-2012, 04:03 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Aish - 09-25-2012, 04:59 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Todd - 09-25-2012, 05:01 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Aish - 09-25-2012, 05:01 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Todd - 09-25-2012, 05:08 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Leanne - 09-25-2012, 05:12 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Todd - 09-25-2012, 05:20 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by billy - 09-25-2012, 06:54 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Todd - 09-25-2012, 07:11 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Aish - 09-26-2012, 02:02 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Todd - 09-26-2012, 02:41 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by billy - 09-26-2012, 07:33 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Todd - 09-26-2012, 08:12 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Aish - 09-27-2012, 02:46 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Philatone - 09-27-2012, 12:45 PM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing - by Todd - 09-27-2012, 07:50 PM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing (Revision) - by Todd - 05-27-2017, 12:36 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing (Revision) - by Keith - 05-27-2017, 01:38 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing (Revision) - by Todd - 05-27-2017, 05:30 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing (Revision) - by Richard - 05-28-2017, 05:06 AM

RE: F*%ing is a Metaphor for F*%ing (Revision) - by Todd - 05-29-2017, 12:59 AM

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