08-22-2012, 02:57 AM
Thanks a lot guys, I've done another edit.
@Philatone
Great advice, thanks, I'll definitely use some of it.
It's abstract for two reasons - first of all, I think dying probably is quite an abstract process in itself, due to the release of DMT in your brain that gives you feelings of euphoria and even hallucinations. DMT naturally occurs in the human brain and it is believed to be connected with dreaming and dying, which explains why people report euphoria and religious/unusual visions when they have had a near-death experience. Based on that, I would imagine that death is a calm and surreal process. And secondly, I think it is more... Er, poetic, to end the poem that way, rather then just be like, "and she died" or whatever : p Having a poem from someones perspective as they die isn't something I've seen a lot of, so I don't have much to work against.
@Philatone
Great advice, thanks, I'll definitely use some of it.
It's abstract for two reasons - first of all, I think dying probably is quite an abstract process in itself, due to the release of DMT in your brain that gives you feelings of euphoria and even hallucinations. DMT naturally occurs in the human brain and it is believed to be connected with dreaming and dying, which explains why people report euphoria and religious/unusual visions when they have had a near-death experience. Based on that, I would imagine that death is a calm and surreal process. And secondly, I think it is more... Er, poetic, to end the poem that way, rather then just be like, "and she died" or whatever : p Having a poem from someones perspective as they die isn't something I've seen a lot of, so I don't have much to work against.