08-16-2012, 11:51 PM
Thank you both so much for the feedback. I knew this needed a few little tweaks and these help immensely.
I also thought 'silent tears' was a bit cliche, but you know how sometimes you sit there, looking at the word and you try to come up with a different word or phrase? I just got stuck there and it was holding up the entire poem. I will keep thinking of a replacement, you never know when an idea will come to mind.
Leanne, I am thinking about putting "Do You Ever Think Of Me?" as the closing line. Although would it be too much to have that as the title also? I am leaning toward changing the title.
I also thought 'silent tears' was a bit cliche, but you know how sometimes you sit there, looking at the word and you try to come up with a different word or phrase? I just got stuck there and it was holding up the entire poem. I will keep thinking of a replacement, you never know when an idea will come to mind.
Leanne, I am thinking about putting "Do You Ever Think Of Me?" as the closing line. Although would it be too much to have that as the title also? I am leaning toward changing the title.