Do You Ever Think Of Me?

[billy]

we don't care about skill level. well we do but not negatively. just be brave

I have been on a bit of a break from writing poetry and have been busy with some professional articles and long fiction. I am not quite sure where my level of skill would fit in here, so I thought the Miscellaneous Thread was a good place to start.


This is something I whipped up today

Do You Ever Think Of Me?

On spring mornings when the dew is soft upon the newborn grass, i like newborn grass, ties in nicely with spring,
when possible feels as if it really may be
and dancing irises nod their pretty heads flirtatiously. i know irises is plural but would "iris" work any better?

On summer days when sunlight promises a loving touch,
when a burst of brilliance erupts up and over into this dimension
and a lifeless shadow shrugs indifference.

On autumn evenings when windswept leaves snap sharply,
when the untamed cyclone beats a rhythm of ambiguous words
and spirals high against the inadequate name of blue.

On winter nights when an icy bed of loneliness collects the silent tears, silent tears feels a little cliche
when vicious blades of sorrow slice deep into the trench of despair
and the memory of a kiss sings a regretful lullaby.

certainly worthy of any of the forums depending on what kind of crit/feedback you want. some good images though a little wordy in places, things like the 'the' on the first line, though it may upset the meter.
and some of the meter elsewhere could be looked at by better eyes than mine.

i do like the way you imbue each season with a suitable mood of the 'me' in the poem. thanks for the read and hope to see some more