Liberty Avenue Park

[billy]

@ambus:I'm sure there is a deeper and more powerful way to express each line, but if I knew it I wouldn't be looking for help on a poetry critiquing site. Any suggestions are welcome.@billy:I think that is one of my weak points. I tend to write everything that comes into my head and call it a poem. Maybe I should have put this in the prose section.

using excess wordage is one of my main problems when i do poem.

i think the poem is a poem, prose poetry is poetry, so is narrative poetry. excess wordage (verbiage) is seldom good for any poem, if it's needed it's not excess

if you meant to write a poem then this is the proper place. if you allowed me i'd show what i mean about verbiage. just by removing some of the words and not adding anythin of my own