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Liberty Avenue Park
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08-07-2012, 06:01 PM
I like the candidness of this piece Raymond. I do agree that you could trim some stuff. "Unrequited" is just too much of a mouthful to repeat twice in the poem. Though candidness is good, you also have to challenge yourself to state what you want to state in other ways. Thanks very much for the read.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Liberty Avenue Park - by raymond trevitt - 08-06-2012, 12:03 PM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by ambustharp - 08-06-2012, 03:53 PM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by billy - 08-06-2012, 05:53 PM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by raymond trevitt - 08-07-2012, 06:07 AM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by billy - 08-08-2012, 11:22 AM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by addy - 08-07-2012, 06:01 PM
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